Here is a summary
of the reasons for our decision::
- This organization was formed
to be a voice for mothers who lost their children to adoption. We believe
that, for far too long, our voice has been stifled and co-opted by others
who have spoken for us and claimed knowledge of our experience. A very
big part of this appropriation of our voice has been naming us as "birth
mothers". It's time, long past time, to take charge of defining
who we are, describing our experience and naming ourselves. Defining
who we are and how we wish to be addressed will empower us and increase
our voice.
- The term "natural mother"
most closely encompasses our collective feeling about ourselves, regardless
of how others would prefer to see us defined. It includes those mothers
who are searching, those who aren't and those who have reunited with
their children.
- We recognize that we have
been called many things by those who have used language to keep us from
our own power. We have been called "fallen women", "unwed
mothers", "birth mothers" and more. The law has always
used these names since the law reflects and entrenches social attitudes
about us, but we have never ever been consulted on how we define ourselves.
Social workers, lawyers and legislators have always defined us in their
own terms.
- All names used in the past,
including "birth mother", because they were applied to us
without consulting with us, have served to keep us in our place - the
place where the social work and legal professions, and the legislators,
would have us be.
- For years and years the
absorption of these legally and socially constructed names have harmed
natural mothers. The definitions by others have reinforced our already
damaged self-esteem and prevented us from, in many cases, searching
for our children and accepting our full motherhood of our lost children.
- Many people may object to
the terminology which we choose to use. We believe that only we have
the moral right to name ourselves. In naming this organization, using
"natural mothers", we have not disregarded the feelings of
others. We simply cannot be responsible for the insecurities of others
involved in adoption. We are not claiming that other mothers are "unnatural";
if they believe that we had intended that conclusion as a corollary
to our act in naming ourselves, they are mistaken. In taking the name
"natural mother" we are simply assuming our own definition,
despite any terminology or adjectives which any other group would impose
on us.
 
©
The Canadian Council of Natural Mothers. November 2002, written by Karen
Lynn.
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